Boulders and Knapsacks

I'm reading a book called Boundaries, and it's very interesting. Basically, it helps clarify--from a biblical perspective--when you should step in and help people and when it is okay to say no.

In a nutshell, they say that when we are asked to help someone, most people guilt themselves into doing it because "it's the right thing to do," whether our heart is in it or not. Many of us do this for the approval, or because we feel selfish if we don't obey the Bible and help "bear one another's burdens" (Gal. 6:2). One of their points is that we are not being formed into God's image if our heart is not in it. But they also point out that we are not called to help everyone who calls with every problem, and that's where boundaries come in.

The book says that the Greek word for "burdens" refers to a boulder or something that is too big to carry on your own; something that is unusual. So if someone with a big problem that they can't handle themselves asks you to step in and help, well, that's what the body of Christ is for. This would include things like a death in the family, the loss of a job, etc.

However, God expects people to carry their own "knapsacks," the things that are just part of life that you need to handle yourself (Gal. 6:5). For example, we can't ask others to take it upon themselves to continually bear the burden of our ongoing emotional issues, we can't constantly ask for help with basic things at home like cleaning and child care, we can't expect someone to be continually validating us, etc. Those are things that are our responsibility.

So here is my question: what if there's a situation where someone is dealing with a series of big burdens and is asking for help, but because of the situation, these things are going to become part of their life? In other words, is this a series of boulders that we should help with every time they call, or is it a really heavy knapsack that they need to learn to carry themselves? And what if I throw in there that it's a situation where they're reaping what they sowed?

I am watching this happen between two people I know--Person A is being called upon to help Person B, who is constantly dealing with a particular issue, and Person A is becoming fatigued from helping. That makes me think, since God also made us stewards of ourselves, that Person A needs to back off the help a little bit, not only to take good care of themselves, but also to let Person B learn to deal with the situation that is going to just be part of their life from now on, and also to encourage Person B to find other sources of help. However, the crises Person B calls about really are big things, so does that mean that Person A should sacrifice to help, even up to their own breaking point?

Have I confused you? :)

Is this a boulder situation or a knapsack situation? I haven't finished the book yet, and it may be that I will run across their answer, but I am interested in your opinion, too. What do you think?

Weekend Getaway - Sunday - Martha's Vineyard

On Sunday, we went to Martha's Vineyard. Truth be told, we spent the first half of the day trying to get there via the ferry. We kept either missing them or being sent to another parking lot. We finally caught one about 12:00 and spent most of the day there before heading back.

Martha's Vineyard is an island off the coast of Cape Cod. It's part of Massachusetts, and it's got some nice beaches, nice houses, nice little shops, etc. It's just generally quaint and idyllic. You hear of celebrities going there a lot. There are lots of fun things to do, from sailing to gliding to rides in biplanes to biking to visiting an alpaca farm. We wanted to bike but ran out of time, the sailing, gliding, and biplane rides didn't sound too baby-friendly, and I would have liked to have bought some yarn from the alpaca farm, but we didn't have enough time to go there.

So we settled for a quiet afternoon walking around Oak Bluffs, one of the towns on the island. We started out with a nice lunch. During the meal, Noah's teething pain started in, and for the life of me, I couldn't find the infant Tylenol in my purse. So I asked the hostess where the closest drugstore was, and she pointed across the street. Turns out they were out of Tylenol (seriously?!), and the kid behind the counter told me that the only other two places I could get infant Tylenol on the island on a Sunday were in two other towns. I hadn't realized until then how small-townish it was there. So I settled for baby Orajel. Wouldn't you know that I found the Tylenol in my purse today when I was cleaning it out? I had it with me the whole time! Oh well. The Orajel actually worked great.

Noah had been doing really great the whole weekend, but he started to get super tired on Sunday. His nap schedule was all messed up, thanks to Mom and Dad, and he got pretty fussy at one point. So when we set out to walk after lunch, we put Noah in the stroller and covered him up. It worked great! He went straight to sleep.

Cute little legs sticking out. :)

We were so thankful he fell asleep.
One of the things we enjoyed the most were the Gingerbread Cottages. I don't know the whole story, but apparently there were a bunch of Methodists living there in tents, and they eventually built the cottages to replace them. Even though they are in the middle of town and are a tourist stop, they are privately owned, and you see families out on the porches reading and stuff. They are beautiful and extremely detailed, and many of them have names.
A picture of Noah and me at a park near the beach, surrounded by more idyllic quaintness.
Part of the street where most of the restaurants and shops are located. We got some ice cream and chocolate from this "Chocolate Emporium." How can you not enter a store called a chocolate emporium?

We also went to the beach for a little while. It was so nice--it wasn't too crowded, the sun was out, and it was beautiful. I like this picture--hanging out at the beach between Mom and Dad.
Cutie. He has almost learned how to wave. He can do it, but he doesn't yet get that you're supposed to do it in response to someone. So he just waves randomly. Also, do you see all the rocks? This was a somewhat rocky beach. I was glad we came before he was mobile; otherwise, I would have been freaking out about being surrounded by about a million choking hazards.

Trying to grab the camera

I took a little video of our time at the beach. One of Noah's new skills is clapping. You can tell he's having a good time. :)

After leaving the beach, we walked around and killed time until it was time to board our ferry, and we rode back and headed to our car. On the drive home, we hit two different traffic jams. It reminded me of Houston. Sigh. But it gave us more time to chat, I guess. I got to recite most of Dr. Seuss's Amazing Alphabet book. It all came up because I was a little itchy because of a little bit of a sunburn, and I called myself "Itchy, itchy, Ichabod." Nathan was like, "What are you talking about?" And thus the recitation commenced. It's about as much poetry as I can fit into my brain these days. "Big Y, little y, what begins with Y? A yawning yellow yak with Yolanda on its back."

We had a lovely, peaceful family weekend, and we were so glad to have gone. I highly recommend Newport, Cape Cod, and Martha's Vineyard!

Weekend Getaway - Saturday - Newport, RI

We took a little southern New England getaway this weekend, and it was so nice! We very rarely travel other than to visit family, so it was really good to go do something fun.

On Saturday, we went to Newport, Rhode Island to see the Newport Mansions. Well, we went to see one mansion, anyway. There are several, but frankly, I figured one mansion's worth of finery would be enough for me, and I also didn't think Noah would stand up to too many tours. So we did two tours of the same house--one was the regular tour, through all the fancy rooms, and one was the "behind the scenes" tour, which showed all of the other areas of the house, like the kitchens and servants' quarters. It was really neat to see how the staff kept everything running. This house in particular had about 50 people on staff at any given time to take care of the 65,000 sq. ft. house along with the grounds. Can you imagine?! This was part of the Gilded Age, though. Several times, I felt like I was walking through Gatsby's house.

We were only allowed to take pictures of the ouside of the house, so that's all I have to show you. The house we saw was called The Elms, and you can see a few more pictures here.

Here we are at the front gate:

The front of the house

Walking through the grounds around to the back of the house:

The back of this amazing house. It was built to look like a mansion in France. Have you noticed how spectacular the weather is? Look at that blue sky! It was, hands down, THE perfect weather. Low 70's, low humidity, beautiful sunny days.

The best part of the grounds was this tree. Actually, it's a few trees. The branches spread in such a way that the inside is like a giant cave.

Here we are going inside:

Come have a look with us!

Oops, that's sideways. I'll try to fix it.

Here are Nathan and Noah, sitting on one of the branches. You have to click on the picture to truly appreciate Noah's grin.

Here we are on the roof. Check out a view of the water and boats behind us.

This is a picture I took on the roof of one of the statues and the sky. I know nothing about photography, but I thought this was kind of cool.

A nice fellow tourist saw us trying (unsuccessfully) to take a family picture on our own and offered to take it for us. This is a stone bench on the grounds at The Elms.

How to Booze Up Your Baby

1. Put organic pear juice in his sippy cup.
2. Let the cup sit, in or out of the refrigerator, for a day or two.
   
3. Give your baby some juice and wonder why in the world he is making such a face of disgust.

This has happened not once, but at least three times. It took me a while to figure out why the pear juice suddenly didn't taste good to him after a couple of days (he doesn't drink much, so it takes him a couple of days to empty his sippy cup). Then, this weekend, I pulled the cap off of the cup and smelled the unmistakable scent of fermentation. I suddenly realized what had been happening--that organic pear juice with no preservatives was fermenting! Poor Noah. It's not like he got more than about half of a sip at a time, because he'd refuse to drink it, and I'd pour it out and get him fresh juice or water. So I didn't actually booze up my baby. But I did inadvertently try!

Lauren's Dream House Wish List

I was inspired today to document the things I'd love to have in my house someday. If it were up to me, I'd live in a beautiful, cozy Victorian house. Of course, that is assuming that I don't end up with my first choice, an English country estate. (Ha!) Anyway, I have a hunch I'll have a hard time finding a Victorian in Texas, where we expect to move. But there are elements from the old Colonials and Victorians here that I definitely want to bring to my own home someday.

I would love to have the crown molding, French doors, and ESPECIALLY the window seat that are in my friend Allison's new house. One day, when I design my own home, it will have all of these wonderful touches.

This window seat would have been the absolute highlight of my girlhood, if we had had one. I would have been there, reading, for hours upon hours. I probably would have also shut those curtains and hidden away, curled up with a good book, like Jane Eyre did, although I doubt I'd be reading a book about animals, which is, I think, what she read in the novel. I probably would have been reading Anne of Green Gables. Anne of Green Gables seems like a good book to read in a window seat.

The other must for my future dream house is a window in the ginormous walk-in pantry, just like the one we have now:

And perhaps a stained glass window, like the one in our living room:

Update

I wanted to thank you all for praying for Gary and Les today. He did die this afternoon, so my whole family would appreciate your continued prayers.

Urgent Prayer Request

My mom just called me and told me that a family member, Gary, who suffered a serious head injury a couple of weeks ago, is about to die. At this point, he is on full life support, and his lungs are not absorbing oxygen well, which is, of course, affecting all his organs. He also had a stroke last week and he has some bleeding in his brain.

Please specifically pray for his wife, Les, because she has to make a decision tomorrow about whether or not to take him off life support. Some family members will be on hand to meet about this tomorrow, but it is a horrible decision to have to make, even though he had expressed a wish not to be kept alive artificially.

I know this is a controversial issue, but right now I just ask for your love and sympathy and especially your prayers on this matter. God is bigger than any situation, bigger than life and death. Pray especially for Les.

Latest Projects

My latest two sewing projects:

I made Granny a little comfort pillow for her birthday. The fabric just looked like her. I thought about adding a little rick rack edging or something, but I just didn't think it needed any more busyness. Now, looking at it again, I think a little old fashioned lace would have been nice and in keeping with the style of the fabric.

And here is my first attempt at a quilt. Baby Justus's mommy loves orange, and I had her in mind! It is about the simplest quilt you could possibly make, which is what I was going for since 1.) it was my very first one, and 2.) baby Justus was already born, and I wanted to get him his blanket ASAP.
I bought the materials to make a red edging, but I ended up nixing the idea because of time. However, it took me just as much time to do it this way, so now I think I should have made the edging to break up the orange a bit.
Anyway, even though I'm still learning, I am still proud of my projects!

Speaking of quilts, I talked to Granny today to wish her Happy Birthday (Happy B-day again, Granny!), and I asked her what Momo used for batting inside of her quilts. Momo was my great-grandmother, Granny's mother. I asked what Momo used in her quilts because they are all incredibly heavy. I was actually surprised and somewhat disappointed when I picked up the batting at the quilting store because it was so lightweight and thin, and I knew my quilts could not possibly have the feel that Momo's did. I always liked how Momo's quilts were so weighty and made you feel all cozy and hemmed in when you climbed into a bed with one on it.

Granny told me that Momo would actually take cotton bolls, pull the cotton away from the seed, stretch it out, and use it inside her quilts. Momo lived her whole life in rural Mississippi, where cotton was plentiful but money wasn't, so cotton bolls were the best thing for using inside of quilts because it made them very warm. It was time-consuming and tedious, but it was necessary. Granny commented that the quilts were not for looks; they were for keeping you as warm as possible.

I just thought that was a really neat piece of my family history.

Living Levitically

A group of people in our church, led by the associate minister, decided to actually live out Leviticus for a month. It was a really interesting project that, in the end, helped the participants to understand God's grace in a much more full way. That's quite an interesting conclusion, when you consider that Leviticus is full of laws.

If you have the August issue of Christianity Today, you'll see an article in there about the challenge, written by the pastor who led it, Daniel Harrell. Here's a link if you'd like to read it online:
http://www.ctlibrary.com/ct/2008/august/13.30.html

I was just surprised to see something about our church in a big magazine, and since the project was cool and thought-provoking, I thought I'd pass this along to y'all.

I Have a New Obsession

I have a new and ridiculous obsession with . . .

FABRIC.

Oh yes. It is wonderful stuff. Just check out some of my new favorite fabric designers:

Amy Butler

Joel Dewberry

Anna Maria Horner

And last, but not least:
Heather Bailey

I'm trying really hard not to just leap and buy all the stuff I get inspired by and fall in love with, because then I'll end up with a stash of fabric I never get to. I have a tendency to do that with yarn, too. What I learned is that I need to have a project in mind first. So I'm holding myself back.

One of these days I'm going to have a little girl so I can make her all kinds of girly dresses and quilts and curtains. I love all the floral, girly fabrics.

I think I'm going to make Noah a quilt, but I haven't gotten far enough to pick out fabrics yet. I think I may take a quilting class from a store near me this fall. You know, so I actually know what I'm doing....

Help Me, Dear Bloggers.

Things I need help on:

1. Sewing question: What is the best way to learn how to cut a straight line? I know I should have learned this in kindergarten, but apparently I didn't. I just can't eyeball it. And yes, I do have good sewing scissors, so that's not what's throwing me off. Also, how do you make sure you're cutting your corners at a 90-degree angle?
   
2. What is the best way to grind flaxseed? I tried putting it in the food processor, but the seeds just spun around without breaking up. I don't have a mortar and pestle, and I doubt I'd use them if I did. Any other methods?
3. What is your best meatloaf recipe? I have a ton of ground beef I need to use, and I thought meatloaf would be a good candidate for using it. I haven't ever run across a meatloaf recipe that I thought was so stellar I needed to write it down, so I'm appealing to you. Help!
   

Prayer Request

My 18-year old cousin, let's call her E, found out a couple of weeks ago that she is pregnant. The messy situation she had allowed herself to get into when she got pregnant was horrible, but she is thankfully disentangled from it now. In any case, she has gotten out of that situation and is now dealing with an unplanned pregnancy.

Her mom sent out some prayer requests, and I am posting them here so you can help lift the situation up, as well:

Pray for a healthy pregnancy and health for E

for financial provision

for E to mature and face this life-changing event with adult behaviors (best she can at 18)

for her father and myself to encourage and love on her unconditionally (which hasn't been easy, but is best for the baby and E)

for our patience, understanding and even joy toward E

for all others in our family to accept this situation and support her and us

for E to open her heart to the Father/Son/Holy Spirit and the Word

and for wisdom/discernment when it comes to dealing with the father and his family (we want to do what's best for the baby).

There are many other unspoken requests that we'd appreciate you lifting up as well.

It looks like this may be a case where adoption is the best thing for the baby, but that is yet to be decided. Please also pray for wisdom in that decision.

Thank you.

Worm Eggs?

My son ate dirt for the first time yesterday.

My reaction: Ha!
Nathan's reaction: Ha!
Granny's reaction: Ha!
My dad's reaction: Ha!
My mom's reaction: He ate worm eggs.

I was working in Kendra & Caleb's garden, and I took Noah with me. When I go, I set his Bumbo on the ground for him to sit in while I water and pick veggies. In the past, he's reached over the side of his seat to play in the dirt, but he's never tried to get it to his mouth before. Well, yesterday, after I finished picking gigantic zucchini and looking for varmint-eaten tomatoes, I walked back over to Noah, and he had a nice little line of drooly dirt under his bottom lip. Funny kid. I wasn't freaked out or anything--I know all kids eat dirt (and apparently worm eggs). I just really wish I had had my camera with me! That line of mud under his lip was funny!

Kisses from Curious George Redux

Kisses from Curious George Redux

Good Things

Some good things that are in my kitchen right now:

Liberte yogurt is hands down my favorite yogurt. It has the perfect balance of smoothness, creaminess, and tartness. And yes, if you look closely, it does say that it's "Six Grain Yogurt," which at first I thought would be the weirdest stuff ever, but it's actually quite good. It's not chock full of grains; it just has a few pieces scattered through the creamy goodness. It makes me feel like I'm eating something super wholesome.

It comes in several flavors, but my favorite is pear. Seriously, I can't figure out why all the other yogurt companies haven't jumped on the pear bandwagon, because it is delicioso. Nathan and I also tried the plum walnut mediterranean style the other day, and holy cow, it was amazing.

When we lived in Houston a couple of summers ago, I looked and looked in vain for this yogurt, checking every grocery store, including Whole Foods and Central Market, where I was sure I'd find it. But, alas, I didn't. Maybe it's only available in the northern US since it's made in Canada. So, you southerners, petition your local Whole Foods to get some of this goodness down to you. It's yogurt perfection.


You guys have probably also seen the Simply Orange commercials, but Nathan and I just discovered Simply Lemonade and Simply Limeade. Oh my gosh, y'all, you have to get some. It's soooo good.


And lastly, this is one of my favorite ice cream flavors. I mean, if you can't get Blue Bell, you might as well find something else, right? Well, I like Ben and Jerry's Dublin Mudslide. It's Irish Cream ice cream with chocolate cookies and whatnot in it.

Seven Months Old!

Noah is seven months old today!

He is such a cutie and a delight. He smiles and laughs all the time, except when the teething gets to him, and even then, he actually smiles through his whining. He has also thought it was hilarious the couple of times I've tried to tell him "no." For example, he'll pull my hair, I'll say, "No, Noah!" in a very firm voice, and the boy lets out the biggest belly laugh. It's really hard to keep a straight face!

He's sitting up really well, which is great because it allows him to use his hands to play with his toys. Lately, he's showing his colors: the kid is all boy. He breaks out in a huge grin or a laugh whenever we do something daring, like hang him upside-down or toss him in the air. Also, the boy loves food. He loves to eat, hands down. His least favorite food is peas (but he's a good boy and he'll still eat them), and his favorite foods are pears and mangoes.

Coy Noah

Cute Noah in his new high chair

Silly Noah

Curious Noah

"Look, Mom, there's a cat!"

Happy Noah
I love this picture.

Wow

I just had to share that I saved $17 on three family packs of chicken breasts today. I think they might have mismarked them at $1/lb., even though they were supposed to be on sale. I mean, when was the last time you saw chicken breasts for $1/lb.?!

I know I'm a nerd, but I had to share.

What in the World?!

My family in Texas has been dealing with one crisis after another this summer. We're talking one serious medical problem after another (two of the people nearly died and one isn't out of the woods) and a few other things. A couple of the situations are frustratingly bad because 1.) they have to do with the person's bad behavior, and 2.) the best way to move forward is not clear. And all of this is not only stressful in and of itself, but it has also put great stress on some relationships, too. For those in the middle, it is an emotional quagmire.

So please pray for proper medical care for those with physical problems, please pray for God to intervene in a real way and bring about repentance and maturity for those who have been making bad decisions, and please pray for wisdom and strength for those bearing the responsibility of making things right and taking care of others.

Thanks.

Sweet Sleeper

Noah often sleeps with his hands behind his head.

I think it'd be funny if I end up with a picture of him in basically the same position when he's like seventeen.

This is Fun

Click on it to see it more clearly.

Go to wordle.net to make your own.

Psalm 103

This is one of my favorite Psalms, and I felt like posting it today.

Psalm 103

Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits--
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.

He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:
The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
As for man, his days are like grass,
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD's love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children's children--
with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.

The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.

Praise the LORD, you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.
Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will.
Praise the LORD, all his works
everywhere in his dominion.

Praise the LORD, O my soul.

JUMP!

We finally hung Noah's jumper today, and oh my gosh did the boy love it.

Here he is learning how to use it. At first, he just turned around and around in it, but Nathan helped bounce him in it, and he got the gist immediately. It's so cute how pleased he is with himself. I happened to catch it on video:


And here he is five minutes later, already an expert:

I love the joyful, flailing hands!

Noah's First Day at the Beach

We went to the beach today! We went to Plum Island, which is close to the New Hampshire border. Unfortunately, even though the day started out sunny at our house, by the time we got to the beach, it was a little cool and threatening rain. It didn't actually rain, but I was too chicken to get into the cold water without the warm sun to warm me up afterward.

Noah had a great time! He enjoyed playing with the sand and watching the other kids at the beach.

Here's Noah and me (and my crazy beach hair).

He gets his coloring (or lack thereof) from me.

I really wish this picture weren't fuzzy!

Daddy showed Noah the water. But when he put his feet in, Noah began to whine. That water was dang cold!

Cuties.

Nathan let me post this, despite his farmer's tan. :)

August Arbonne Specials

Hello all! Check out Arbonne's specials this August:

First, I want to tell you about a special I am running, myself:
Let me place your order for you, and I'll pay for half of your shipping! Do you need a refill on some of your RE9 products? A new foundation or lipstick? Some more Sea Salt Scrub? If you have an order of at least $50 srp, not only will I give you my 35% discount, but I will also pay half of your shipping costs. In order to take advantage of this special, email me directly with your order. I will place the order right away and will have it shipped directly to you. You can reach me at laurenbenesh@gmail.com.

20% Off Vanish Products and Children's Vitamins
This August, you can buy the Figure 8 Vanishing Act Set, an $85 value, for $68, and the Smart Nutritional Hybrids Daily Power Punch for Kids, a $22 value, for $17.50.

RE9 REtreatment Set for $65
With every $75 SRP order increment,enjoy the option to purchase the NutriMinC RE⁹ REtreatment set, a $161.50 value, for $66.
The REtreatment set includes the following: REversing Geleè Transforming Lift, RElease Deep Pore Cleansing Masque, REgain Illuminating Enzyme Peel, REtaliate Wrinkle Filler, plus a complementary REveal Facial Scrub - along with the Weekly Usage Chart, which offers a convenient guide to daily usage for each of the Treatment products.

The 2008 Holiday Line has been announced, and Arbonne has some new things that look absolutely beautiful!
You can see all of the products here. They will be available beginning in September.


--
Lauren Benesh
Independent Consultant
Arbonne International