What We Did

As Nathan announced here on the blog, yesterday was our fifth anniversary. Yay! (I think it's funny that he picked that picture of me!)

To celebrate, we went to Boston's Italian part of town, the North End, for dinner.

It. Was. Awesome.

I told Nathan that it was the best expensive dinner I've ever had. The restaurant we went to is called Mamma Maria, and it is across the street from Paul Revere's house. The food was so great, as was the ambience. We sat next to a window where we could see the quaint square and some Christmas lights.

They brought out pesto and olives with the bread, and I have to say that I have never had pesto that tasted as good as theirs. We also ordered an appetizer of some imported ricotta and mozzarella, along with a couple glasses of wine. I was already in heaven. The portions were small, but we were both pleasantly surprised that such a small amount of food was so completely satisfying. For our entrees, Nathan ordered the osso buco, which is a very traditional Italian dish that neither of us had ever had before. It was basically a lamb shank served over some risotto. I ordered the pork dish, which was pork loin served over broccolini alongside an amazing baked apple and a squash ravioli. My dish was definitely the winner. Nathan and I both loved it. We finished dinner with a chocolate tart and a cappuccino. It was an awesome dining experience!

After dinner, we thought about walking over to Boston Common to see the Christmas trees all lit up, but it was too dang cold. It was only a windy 20 degrees, and we hadn't bundled up that much, since we were dressed up. I mean, I was not about to mess up my little up-do with a hat. :) Vanity over comfort for this night.

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So Kim requested (nay, demanded) that we give our top five marriage tips. Well, I'm not so sure that after five years you could call us experts, but here are some things that we've learned along the way or have been taught by others:

1. Fight well. Which means: listen to what the other person is saying and really try to put yourself in their shoes. In fact, restate their point to them before going on with your response. It is stinking amazing how much less elevated an argument gets when you know that the other person understands where you're coming from.

2. Leave and cleave. Genesis 2:24a: "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife." God created the family unit to be strongest when you make your spouse your priority over your family of origin. Not that you forsake your family or disrespect it in any way; it's just that your spouse and the new family you create comes first. I would also add (and we are learning this as we go) that you can't let your relationship with your spouse suffer because parenting gets in the way. It's easy to focus all your emotional energy on your kid(s) and not have any left for your spouse, but your spouse will still be there in 20 years, after the kids are gone. So you have to continue to cultivate that relationship.

3. Praise in public; criticize in private. Make an effort not to say anything critical of your spouse to other people, but to praise him/her to others instead. If you have something to talk to your spouse about, deal with him/her directly. It really tears you down to be criticized in front of other people, especially when the person doing the criticizing is someone close to you, with whom you're vulnerable. Abuse of the gift of that vulnerability makes it hard to give it as freely after that. Instead, praise your spouse to other people. Not only does it cultivate respect from others, but it also cultivates it in you, because you are more actively looking for good things to say about them.

*Okay, it's late and I can't think of any more. :) Maybe I'll fill in the last two tomorrow. Goodnight!

4. Nathan says I should add "Have fun together." It's true. It makes for a good relationship when you can laugh together.

5. I think this one is going to remain blank. I am sure many of you will think of lots of good things to put here. In fact, why don't you do that? Leave a comment with your #5.