The Wall

Yesterday a wall of reality hit in the form of a wall of fatigue.

The reality that I had to face yesterday was that I am in my third trimester, which means I am getting tired again, and I simply cannot do everything I want to do every day. There were lots of things on my list yesterday, including making some Christmas cookies to give away. However, just as I was about to turn the mixer on, Noah fell out of a chair and bumped his head, and the rest of the morning was shot, because he was out of sorts for everything and just needed constant attention. When he finally went down for a nap, I was completely beat, but I had to get dinner in the crock pot before I laid down. By the time I finally got to shut my eyes, it was an hour into Noah's nap. And then he woke up early, and I had to drag myself out of bed to go get him--I haven't felt that kind of lethargy in my body since the first trimester. And from then until the end of the day, I was completely exhausted, the kind of exhausted I get only when I am pregnant. By the time we went to pick up Nathan, I was so tired I was almost in tears. And by bedtime, the exhaustion had evidently let the floodgates loose on the hormones, and I was in tears over things that do not normally bother me. Mostly, the thing that was bothering me was the thought of all the things I could not get to during that day, in addition to the reality that I was just not going to be able to get to those things at all.

Today was a better day, for sure. But yesterday did remind me that I am going to have to lower my expectations on what I can accomplish for a while. I had been able to ramp things back up a little bit during the second trimester, and I guess I was just living under the delusion that I was going to be able to keep that up for a while, but I think that I am now going to have to just take it day by day.