It has been the most difficult challenge thus far in my parenting experience. It has tested my mettle in ways I had no idea it had the capability to do. It has revealed some character flaws in me and brought to light some personality characteristics of my son.
It is potty training.
Little did we know when we bought a little potty and set Noah on it a couple of months before his second birthday that we were in for one long haul. It took about a year and a half, but he is now fully potty trained! [Insert fireworks here.]
More than anything else, potty training Noah was a learning experience for me. About parenting, it taught me not to push my kids beyond where they are developmentally. About myself, it taught me to be more patient.
But the most important things I learned were about Noah. Some of the personality traits that we saw glimpses of when he was very small became very evident and crystallized throughout the potty training process. For example, it has become clear to me that he has a fear of failure. This is a lot like me. He is also a bit of a perfectionist, like both his parents. And, also like me, he is reluctant to try things he's not certain he'll succeed at. All of this translated into potty training in really negative ways: because we started before he could have possibly succeeded, he had too many failures early on, which made him not want to try at all. And any negative feedback from Nathan and me (of which there was a fair bit, especially after we knew he knew how to use the potty and wouldn't) just made matters worse.
What we ended up doing was taking a solid two months off. I put Noah back into pull ups and didn't say a word about the potty. And, thankfully, this turned out to be exactly what we all needed. We all just needed to relax. And when we started talking about the potty again, Noah was ready and, most importantly, willing.
I suppose that all the frustration was worth it, considering what I learned about my son. I think we'll certainly have more insight into how to parent him, at the very least.
1 comment:
Ah, very thought-provoking post. I have a few things already with Owen where I've been pushing and he's been resisting. I swing wildly between wondering if the right thing is to push til I win (as if that will really happen), or whether to just wait completely on him. Guess the answer is usually a middle ground. I can already see the 'I want to quit!' just 3 days after signing up for soccer kind of mentality, so I hate giving in. But, they're 3 and 4. There's a time for a push and a time for waiting. Hmm, such a hard job!! Congrats, Noah, on your big achievement!!
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